Openness, Vulnerability, Etc.

At Bold Boundaries, I was a part of a brief conversation about openness in writing. It seems that the most open writing (typically spoken of as the most honest) is the best writing, or that which readers connect with and appreciate most. This also seems true in relationships; the best and closest relationships are those in which we are the most open and honest. The challenge is that being open and sharing leaves us vulnerable. And not everyone out there is safe. There are many people who will, for various reasons, criticize and judge us for what we share. They may or may not have harmful motives, but their reactions can wound us nonetheless.

Bold Boundaries sparked a desire in me to potentially share more openly. I’ve been thinking Continue reading →

Can Non-Jews Be Christians?

The first major controversy in Christianity was whether or not non-Jews could become Christians. We read about this in Acts 15 and Paul wrote his letter to the Galatian churches in response to this. I haven’t felt that I completely grasped this controversy in the past. There is a focus on following the Mosaic Law, and it has typically been framed (in Protestantism at least) as “salvation by works”. In other words, Christian leaders have taught that some Jews were arguing that salvation came through action—doing “good” as spelled out in the Law. In this view, Paul contrasts their claims by arguing that salvation comes through faith alone. (Hmmmm… that sounds very Protestant.)

But if this is true, why is the major, almost Continue reading →

Bold Boundaries, Part 1: Seeing God

(Note: the primary message which inspired this post can be heard here.)

Dan Brennan kicked off this year’s Sacred Friendship Gathering, themed “Bold Boundaries“. In the year since the first and most recent gathering, I had almost forgotten the intensity stemming from the depth of the presentations and the feeling of being surrounded by such a high quality group of people. Everyone I met was warm, friendly, intelligent, thoughtful, caring, genuine, and passionate to push for new paradigms of understanding which see, hear, love, free, heal, and include those who have been marginalized and hurt. (Seriously, this is probably the highest quality group of people I’ve ever been around.) To me this sounds like Jesus’ idea of love. And in my Continue reading →

The Problem of Focusing Exclusively on Atonement

Evangelicals tend to focus on the atonement of Christ. This is certainly an important aspect of Christ’s work. However it is not the only thing Jesus did nor is it the only aspect of the cross. But evangelicals often seem to think that “Jesus died for your sins so you can go to heaven” is the entire story.

From what I understand this dates back to 19th century revivals, in which preachers began to encourage their listeners to pray a prayer for salvation rather than be baptized and follow Christ. Evangelists want a simple, “elevator pitch” gospel that they may get someone to agree to in minutes. The doctrine of atonement fits this. However it is a big problem to focus on making converts rather than disciples. But I think evangelicalism Continue reading →

Happy Blogiversary!

Ten years ago today I wrote my first blog entry. Some of my friends keep up with internet trends and had jumped on board this thing called blogging. So I gave it a try myself. It started out more as an occasional, personal update. But the most interesting this is that it got me writing. I hadn’t done much writing on my own prior to this. In fact, my parents and/or teachers at one point thought I was so bad at writing that they got me a tutor. I think it had more to do with the fact I wasn’t particularly interested in “planning perfect paragraphs”. In any case, blogging has turned out to be a great outlet for me.

In case you’re looking back through my archive, this isn’t the blog I started ten years ago. However it is an outgrowth of it. Continue reading →

Problems With Spouse As Best Friend?

It seems that most people maintain that their spouse is and should be their best friend. I like the sound of this. I really do. It’s so… well, romantic. It sounds good and I don’t think it’s wrong. But… I’ve also developed some question for which I don’t yet have answers.

Where does this concept come from? I have the impression that many Christians take this as “gospel”. It’s so ingrained in our culture that most of us can’t even imagine it being any other way. In fact, to be close to someone who isn’t your spouse (or romantic partner) is sometimes referred to as “emotional adultery”. But I don’t believe it comes from the bible. And I have the impression that it’s a relatively new concept in history. Does marriage really forbid Continue reading →

Is Sex Inevitable?

Can men (and women) control their often strong sex drive? We imply “no” by teaching women to protect themselves rather than teaching men not to rape. The church implies “no” as well when it promotes keeping distance between men and women.

Are sexual desires a strong force? Absolutely. However I think they are more so in our culture than what merely comes naturally. Not only are we constantly bombarded by sexual stimulation, the narrative in our culture is that sex is normal, acceptable (expect for “cheating”), and basically unavoidable (think “The 40 Year Old Virgin”, “40 Days and 40 Nights”, and about three-quarters of major movie releases and TV shows come to think of it). We believe this story because it’s what we’ve been fed. And it Continue reading →

The Scariest Passage in the Bible? Matthew 7:15-23

“Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” (Matt. 7:22-23, NIV). I have heard Christians say they think this passage is quite scary. After all, if these people claimed to follow God and were doing all of these miraculous works yet Jesus rejects them, how can we be confident that God will accept us? As I’ve said repeatedly, context is important. Understood properly, I don’t believe the person who sincerely tries to follow God needs to be overly worried about their standing with him. After all, Jesus refers to God as “your heavenly Father”. The Continue reading →

Shrewd As Snakes: Spiritual Abuse

I have heard of spiritual abuse but haven’t had a clear idea what it was or wasn’t. However, after reading these two articles today: “Poets Will Save the Church” and “‘Don’t Talk About It’: Reflections on Spiritual Abuse“, I believe I have a significantly better definition for it. Spiritual abuse is using God, the bible, and/or religious language and teaching to control, manipulate, and/or heap guilt, shame, and condemnation on one or more people.

This is a difficult and tricky subject I believe. While other types of abuse have the potential to be unclear, I think that spiritual abuse tends to be one of the most difficult to identify. Perhaps it need not be this way, but I think a significant portion of religion is closer to this than Continue reading →

Manipulation and Control: Matthew 7:1-12

Jesus makes a number of statements in Matthew 7:1-12 which at first glance seem to be unrelated. Yet on closer examination, I believe we can see how these tie together. Jesus begins this section by stating “do not judge…”. It is important to understand that the kind of judgement Jesus is talking about here is that of condemnation. It is when one decides that another person is less worthy of respect for one reason or another. On the other side, the discerning type of judgement is actually quite important, necessary, and should come with maturity.

In The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard suggests that this whole section is about not controlling or manipulating others. Going with this, verses 3-6 have to do with someone who believes they Continue reading →