Inside the Mind of Men

By | October 13, 2012

This article was interesting. Since I’m not married, I don’t have a perspective on many of the points he mentions (since they’re mostly framed into a husband-wife relationship). But I offer feedback on a few.

  • People say that men have all the power in society, but it doesn’t feel that way to most men.
    True. (Though I see both sides.)
  • Don’t make your husband guess about what pleases you. Tell him.
    Sounds like a good idea.
  • Men are at their core providers and protectors. The key to our happiness is when we’re healthy in these two roles.
    I can see some truth to this, however I believe there’s probably more to it than this.
  • The person a man protects most his himself. Just about every dysfunction common to men springs from self-protection.
    I can also see some truth in this.
  • Most men are afraid to admit weaknesses – especially to their wives.
  • Men who share their feelings with friends or at work are ridiculed.
    I’m not sure if it is just our culture or not. Men have emotions, though many aren’t as in touch with them as women often are. But it seems that the more tender emotions are ridiculed by enough other men that it’s difficult to be open about them. Some men may ridicule these emotions because they are afraid of their own feelings, while others may have been raised to believe that these aren’t “manly”. In regards to women, there’s a lot of pressure (I’m not entirely sure where this comes from) to appear strong, and that if you appear weak, women will ignore or use you.
  • Today’s level of temptation and sexual stimulation is completely unprecedented in human history.
  • Men check out women all the time. At work. At school. In public. And yes, even at church.
    True for me at least. (I am single.) (I’m not sure if there is any confusion about what “check out” means. I think of it as being aware of how women look (but not necessarily continuing on to lust).)
  • A voice in our head tells us to have sex with every attractive woman of childbearing age.
    I don’t hear this “voice” though I do have a sexual desire. Isolated sexual desire (in other words, not in the context of a specific relationship) is essentially non-specific, meaning that it could be satisfied with any attractive woman. However I believe the relational context is extremely important. (This is difficult to explain, so I hope it makes some sense.) I generally notice attractive women, and sexual attraction is tied to physical attraction. But I believe there’s also space to recognize and appreciate beauty without sexualizing it. I think it’s just a commentary on culture that many people can’t imagine a difference between physical beauty and sexual attraction.
  • Men compare wives. The man with the best looking wife wins.
    I don’t know about comparing wives, but I do know there’s a feeling inside that how attractive your girlfriend or wife is says something about how good or worthy you are as a guy.
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