God Kills Kittens—Sex and Christianity

I’ve considered making videos for sometime, and I finally did one. This is my first “sermon”.

Hello and welcome to the first of what I’m calling, “Choose Your Own Sermon”. This is a series where you get to choose what I speak about. For this episode, I received a question about a phrase I’ve used, “The evangelical fear of sex”. I’ve been requested to expound upon this. I didn’t plan for my first “sermon” to be about sex, but here we are. However, I think this uncomfortability highlights part of the problem—the topic of sex seems taboo, so we don’t talk about it which makes it feel taboo. Along similar lines, Jonalyn Fincher once shared how she learned that just because sex is private doesn’t mean it’s Continue reading

Black Deaths and Police in the News Again

I haven’t said anything until this point regarding several recent events. I personally prefer to remain silent until I believe I have something constructive to say, something helpful, something which may lead to positive change. I don’t necessarily believe anyone I know is doing the following, but I don’t want to speak merely to make myself feel better, presuming myself therefore to be part of the solution rather than the problem. But I do have a bunch of thoughts and feelings. And in my case, this deserves more than a short quip or meme.

First of all, I am upset to hear about further instances of black men and women being killed and/or harassed in what seems to be entirely unnecessary ways and for mistaken and/or other reasons which Continue reading

Is God Behind Sickness and Suffering?

A common belief about God (aka theology) is that God is in control. Everything which happens in the world is either directly done by God or is at least allowed by God. Many take this as a comfort because they believe in a good God and find it encouraging to think that everything which happens is under this good God’s control. However, this idea can also be troublesome when bad things happen as they are for many people right now. This raises questions and doubts for many as to if God is good and cares for us. I want to suggest there is another way to look at the problem of suffering.

Before we proceed, it’s important to quickly differentiate between two kinds of suffering. There are those things which are inconvenient and unpleasant but Continue reading

Samson and the Pirate Monks Book Review

Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authentic Brotherhood” is a book with an intriguing title written by Nate Larkin. The book is very well written; since it’s Larkin’s first, I suspect he had a great editor. It’s to the point, not excluding necessary information but also excludes extraneous material.

In the first several chapters of the book, Larkin shares his personal story of long-term hidden addiction—even while a pastor—and how he found recovery. At this point, he begins to transition toward teaching the lessons he believes he learned. The main one is isolation, how he didn’t have relationships in which he could be open, honest, and authentic. The final section of the book describes how he came to start the Samson Continue reading

Honesty vs. Orthodoxy—A Response to John Cooper

Skillet (a rock band in case you aren’t familiar) frontman John Cooper recently shared a post on Facebook which has in turn been getting shared itself by others. It is apparently in response to a recent announcement by Joshua Harris and a since deleted post by Hillsong’s Marty Sampson. Since Cooper’s post has apparently resonated with some people and is being shared, I wanted to take a moment to respond.

After reading through it a few times, Cooper’s post significantly bothers me because it seems to promote a lot of what I think is wrong with Christianity and seems to demonstrate a lack of understanding in a number of ways. The paradigm behind Cooper’s post seems to be that there is a “truth box” (for lack of a better term—a set of Continue reading

Evangelical Idealism – Leader Announces Separation

Former evangelical pastor and author Joshua Harris and his wife recently announced their separation. This is sad because separation / divorce are always sad I think. We don’t get into and develop relationships with the hope or expectation that they will erode, degrade, fall apart, or even become hostile, harmful, and damaging. In a perfect world, I think that divorce or separation would probably not exist.

Harris’ separation is interesting though in that it is in a way symbolic. (I want to be clear that I am in no way gloating over their troubles.) Harris became well known for his book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, which is often one of the first things mentioned when someone talks about “purity culture”. One of the main ideas and Continue reading

Sex, God & the Conservative Church – Book Review

“Sex, God & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy” is a book authored by therapist Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers. The first thing to know about this book is that it was written to therapists. This affects some sections of the book more than others, yet in either case, non-professionals can learn a lot from the book as well. The second thing to note is that couples counseling is mostly presumed, though Sellers frequently shares brief thoughts on counseling singles at the end of each section.

The book is well divided into chapters with clear themes. In the first chapter, Sellers describes the sexual problems and dysfunction she began to observer in her counseling of those who grew up in conservative Christian Continue reading

Sex in Conservative Evangelical Christianity

Here’s a deep thought to ponder: Jesus said there will not be marriage at the resurrection, but the Bible never says there won’t be sex in “heaven”. I imagine this thought may tweak a lot of evangelical minds. In evangelical thought, sex is so tied to marriage that I expect many might struggle to consider this. But I wonder, is this actually because our view of sex and marriage is so correct and Biblical? (I acknowledge that this article is imperfect; the following may just be my impression based on my experiences, and it may not accurately reflect conservative Christianity today. That said, I think there is still some potential value in what I share.)

I’ve heard it suggested that our western theology is significantly influenced by the Continue reading

Feelings, Thoughts, and Emotions

I’ve been considering the difference and interaction between feelings, emotions, and thoughts. At first I thought there may be a continuum between them rather than always being distinctly one as opposed to another. Now I’m thinking it may be more of a field between three points rather than a single line.

In my observation, we often don’t distinguish between these very well. For instance, I often say, “I feel like…” and then share a thought. And we typically use the words “feelings” and “emotions” interchangeably. However, let me trying to tease these apart.

Thoughts are an idea in our mind which we can often express verbally. We also may have impressions which may not be clear enough to express but I will still consider these Continue reading

Movie Review: Emanuel

My experience gives me the impression that it is very difficult to make a good documentary, perhaps even more difficult than making any other kind of film (not necessarily in the technical aspects, but in terms of writing and editing). In many ways, Emanuel was very well made, impressive even. Yet one of my first impressions after leaving the theater was that something was missing. Something felt unresolved.

The documentary begins by reviewing a bit of the racial history of Charleston, South Carolina, the scene of the events documented in this film. The bulk of the approximately 70 minutes is filled with a recounting of the events which happened (a young white man shot 9 blacks to death in a bible study), accounts of family and Continue reading